


Love Where It Wasn't Supposed to Be

by LittleHeartGrenade (fledglingheart)



Series: Key to the Soul [2]
Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Falling In Love, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 11:25:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14568012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fledglingheart/pseuds/LittleHeartGrenade
Summary: In the aftermath of the 'piano incident' Staci starts to see through Jacob's cracks, but falling for the Wolf was always going to be deadly.Song used is I Found by Amber Run. Links in end notes.Sequel toSee My Dreams All Die





	Love Where It Wasn't Supposed to Be

Nothing seemed to change at first, after the ‘piano incident’ Staci so fondly looked back on. He still watched Jacob sit outside Rook’s cage deep in thought, felt the huger pains, heard the biting words of the soldiers. As Jacob watched him crawl into his cot after forgetting to feed him yet again, Staci thought it would have been kinder to shoot him over the damn ivory.

On the third day it happened suddenly. He woke up expecting to be in the cot in Jacob’s office, handcuffed to the filthy bed waiting to be released. It was a luxury compared to the cages. A moment later he realised his hands were both under his cheek and his body was covered with something much thicker, heavier, than the blanket he was used to.

Cautiously, he opened his eyes and sat up, taking in his surroundings. A thick red carpet, walls freshly painted with a warming beige. The windows were covered from the outside but someone had thought to hang silk curtains matching the carpet to hide the imprisonment. A mahogany desk sat in the corner, a small matching bookshelf beside it. The bed he was laid in was the same wood, with white bedding. On the other side of the room there stood a baby grand piano, mahogany again, as well as a wardrobe. Panic set in. Staci got off the bed and ran for the first of two doors, finding the cleanest bathroom he’d seen since he’d arrived in the Whitetail Mountains. Making a distressed sound he went for the other door, escaping into the familiar halls of the veteran centre.

Rather than look for Jacob, he made his way to the mess hall, expecting to be given the daily rations for the captives. The cultists all ignored him at first, spiking his anxiety, until one pushed him against the wall, “What makes you so special? Skin and bones, smelling like shit… you are nothing, Pratt. You are not a person; you’re not a Deputy; you’re not even Jacob’s toy anymore.” Staci tried to push him away, not understanding what the words meant. Had Jacob decided that the only deputy he needed was Rook after all? The man threw him onto a metal table, making his spine scream, “If you’re not his toy, you may as well be put to some use.”

Staci’s skin crawled, bile rising in his throat, until blood covered him. Jacob pushed the corpse onto the floor and took Staci’s hand, helping him stand as he cleaned his blade against his trousers. “Wait for me in the hallway, Peaches.” He gave Staci a gentle push, turning his attention to the rest of his men, “I am not deaf. I have heard your words and they stop now. Pratt is not your toy to play with, he is my-” the door closed behind Staci, blocking Jacob’s words. A smart man would let the door stay closed, but being smart would hardly do him any good when he was already in Hell. He leaned on the door just enough for it to open a crack, straining to hear Jacob speak. “-with respect! If I see one more incident like that, I’ll execute everyone I consider a witness. Am I clear?”

“What the fuck is happening?” Staci whispered, gripping his hair and pacing across the corridor. **_He’s preparing to replace you. You’re a similar height to Rook, similar size. He wants them. Time’s up. Clock’s ticking. One-two-three. Bang-bang-bang._** He shook his head to clear the toxic thoughts. Jacob wouldn’t kill him. **_Jacob has seen your weakness. And the weak..._**

The devil appeared in front of him, **_not the devil_** , “Jacob?” Staci whimpered. “What’s happening?”

“I hoped you wouldn’t wake up until I got back. Come on, you’re not even wearing boots.” Staci looked down at his body while Jacob guided him back to the unfamiliar room, noticing he’d been stripped of boots, socks, keys, belt – no wonder his jeans felt like they were falling from his hips.

Jacob took him to the bathroom and began to fill the tub with water. Staci sat on the closed toilet, anticipating his next orders, “Sir?”

The tentative whisper drew a sigh from Jacob, “You call me Jacob, Peaches. You know that. Take your clothes off. The bath is for you.”

Wanting to avoid trouble, Staci stripped naked and folding his clothes neatly onto the seat. He waited until Jacob nodded to approach the bath, getting in slowly, groaning when he lay back in the perfect heat. “What’s happening?”

Jacob could still see the fear in Staci’s eyes, mixed with pain. He should have stayed with him. As he picked up the wash cloth and started washing Staci, careful of his wounds, he thought about all the damage he’d caused him. “I’m sorry Peaches.” Receiving only silence, Jacob continued, struggling to find the right words, “I’m sorry I let myself get distracted by the challenge of that… weakling sitting in those cages. They are nothing compared to you. From the moment I met you I saw something in you that was unique, a wild, passionate spirit. I wanted you to be mine in every sense – Joseph and the Project be damned.”

“So you tested me to see if I would be strong enough to survive in Eden?” Staci hesitated, “I believe you. I always believed you.”

“You still fought me,” Jacob smiled, “You’re strong Peaches…” Staci closed his eyes, settling into the calming warmth. 

Over the next few days Staci wanted for nothing, not even Jacob’s company. He was fed as much as he wanted, allowed to sleep as late as he liked, given playing cards and books for entertainment, clean clothes to replace his uniform and spent every moment of it with his master. Eventually the fear receded and he settled into the new role. **_Jacob’s little pet. His Peaches. Eat, sleep and shit for your Master’s approval._** “Fuck off,” he told his reflection. **_Jacob doesn’t care about you. He cares about Rook. He cares about you not staining the carpet with your blood. You don’t even get to shave unsupervised._** Staci punched the mirror, the breaking glass slicing his hand open. He didn’t care as he watched his blood stain the porcelain sink, the sound of the mirror frame thudding against the floor tiles muffled by the rushing in his ears. **_Weak. You’re weak. His little puppet and you let him pull your strings._** Without his permission Staci’s hand reached for a large shard that had fallen into the sink. “Shut up,” he sobbed, barely aware he was crying, “Just shut up!” He raised his hand, bringing it down fast to embed the shard deep in his veins. It never reached his skin. Stronger hands held his wrist tight and a foreign voice joined the commotion in his mind.

“Don’t. Staci you’re above this.” **_He wants the pleasure of killing you himself._** “I thought I’d gotten this out of you.” **_Training you to belong to someone else. John, Joseph, Faith._** “Look at me Peaches.” **_So he can make sure you’re broken._**

Staci looked into Jacob’s eyes, “I can’t… the voice in my head. It’s right. I’m weak. I’m nothing. Just your pet to play with. Put me in here to test me, keeping me prisoner in your Skinner box!” Jacob threw him against the door, pinning his body there, but Staci shoved him back, punching him in the face with his bloodied hand. Jacob looked up and laughed. The sound was genuine and beautiful to Staci’s ears. “What?”

“Look at you standing up to me. Putting me in my place like you’re my fucking equal.” **_But you’re not his equal. You’re his pet. You’re going to die for this._** He wiped the blood from his cheek and took Staci’s hand, making him sit down so he could treat the wounds. “Staci I am not a nice man. I cull the herd; distinguish the weak from the strong through torture only the best can survive. I have never loved anyone before, excluding my brothers. Nobody has ever captured my fancy. Sure I’ve fucked a few women and men, but that was before I went to war, and during my time in military hospital. You should have seen the way one nurse rode my cock like-”

“Why would I want to hear this?” **_Training. What else are you good for?_**

“Because I’ve never felt like this before, Peaches. The day I met you I wanted you like I wanted water in the desert. So I took you and I trained you and I jerked off thinking about how you looked taking everything and fighting your way to the top.” Staci pulled away, ignoring that his cuts were still open, and went into the bedroom. Jacob followed with the first aid kit, “Don’t walk away from me.” **_Learn your place._**

“Keep talking. I might believe you one day.” Staci growled, sitting at the desk to let Jacob wrap his hand. He wasn’t sure if he was arguing with Jacob or the voice.

“I finally had you but I didn’t know what to do with you, like I said I’ve never felt like this before. The more of your life I took from you, the more I learned about you, the faster lust turned to love. I didn’t want to address it. Then that Deputy came to the mountains and I was so preoccupied that I neglected you completely. I saw your pain and I thought you were going to run away with them so I punished you, forced you to be weak so you wouldn’t be strong enough to go. Isn’t that what men do? To tame the stallion you have to break it first.”

“You think of me as a stallion?” Staci tilted his head, trying to understand what Jacob was trying to tell him. “I don’t-”

“When I heard you singing I was… was _flooded_ with emotions I didn’t think I was capable of feeling anymore. I spent hours and hours out there trying to figure out what the fuck it was all for.” Jacob put the kit away as an excuse not to face what he’d just spilled in an attempt to stop Staci slicing through his wrists. The sight of him bleeding out before had almost broken him. Imagining him dead opened the flood gates. Embarrassed of what he’d just done and said, Jacob turned to leave the room. Staci grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Why am I a prisoner here if you regret what you did so much?”

“The door has always been unlocked, I wouldn’t have stopped you.” Jacob stormed out. Staci didn’t see him again that day but he was grateful for it, needing time to process all the information he’d been given.

Early the next morning he watched from the balcony in Jacob’s office as the soldier paced around Rook’s cage, hands clenching and unclenching, tension clear. Every few minutes his hand came up to scratch at the tender skin of his throat, already red and threatening to bleed. The Deputy wasn’t awake yet. Staci glanced at the calendar on the wall: seven days. If they weren’t fed today they would be left to die.

Jacob stopped in his tracks when Staci walked outside holding a chair and a canteen, “What are you doing?”

“Shut up, you need a shave. You’re scratching yourself raw,” Staci’s voice was gentle, almost caring. **_Don’t fall for his act. You’re falling._** He shook his head to clear the voice and set the chair up, “Come on. I won’t hurt you.”

“Thank you, Peaches,” Jacob sat down, a hopeful tone to his voice. Maybe Staci wasn’t as far out of his reach as he’d begun to believe. Watching the man just over half his age adapting to the new lifestyle had been a difficult process, not least because of his internal struggle. Part of him wanted to force him to belong to him in every sense; break him completely until he could do nothing but say yes – but a stronger part of him, a good side that Staci seemed to flourish, wanted to wait until he came to him naturally. It argued that Staci would be more devoted to him through love than he would be through fear. It was the same part of him that had had his bedroom redecorated for two, everything chosen with his boy in mind. Except the piano, that had been selfish, Jacob considered as felt blade of his knife glide across his flesh, he just wanted to hear the song again. “Why don’t you play?” The question was out before he could stop it.

“I have nothing to sing for,” the answer was simple. “I will play one day, but for now I have no reason to. What are you going to do to Rook?”

“Eye for an eye,” Jacob smirked, glad that he had the confidence to ask something so bold. “I’m not sure. I wanted to use them as a tool to kill Eli.”

“I could do that for you,” Staci hummed, wiping the knife clean. He delicately repositioned Jacob’s head for a better angle, “You wouldn’t need to brainwash me for that.”

“And risk losing you in the process? I don’t think so.”

“I’m stronger than you think.”

“I’m not willing to take a chance,” Jacob grunted. “I’ll use them to kill Eli and the Whitetails, and then I’ll kill all of them. We can follow them to the Wolf’s Den and plant some explosives. Send in a unit to finish off any survivors.”

“You’re changing Jacob,” Staci hesitated, palm cupping Jacob’s jaw. He looked into the blue eyes of the Wolf, something inside him pushing him forward. Their lips met for the first time, the position awkward and their lips coarse from poor care, but it was _them._

“Changing for you, Staci,” Jacob breathed when they parted.

“Peaches, remember? Your Peaches…” He rinsed Jacob’s neck carefully and handed him the canteen, leaving too quickly. **_You’re falling too fast. He’s going to kill you._**

Frowning, Jacob picked up the bowl of suspicious meat sat on top of Rook’s cage, tossing it through the bars without caring for spillage. The sooner he was done with the training session, the sooner he could confront Staci about what had happened between them. Upstairs Staci looked through Jacob’s things, trying to get an understanding of his plan but struggling to think straight through his emotions.

Things changed again after that. Long talks that lasted for hours into the night until one or both of them succumbed to exhaustion, or the morning call broke their trance; kisses stolen in quiet corners between the trees; daily routines that moulded together. Both men exposed parts of themselves that no other person would ever have the privilege of seeing and found a unique comfort in the newfound commitment.

Until the day Jacob got his wish, lulled out of sleep by gentle notes. He came to his senses quickly, rolling onto his side and watching Staci play. His naked body stood out against the dark wood as his voice accompanied the instrument, “And I'll use you as a warning sign that if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind ** _._** And I'll use you as a focal point so I don't lose sight of what I want ** _._** And I've moved further than I thought I could but I missed you more than I thought I would.” It had taken time to reach the point they were at now. Months of exposing layer after layer and overcoming obstacles that felt like nothing now but had been hurdles at the time. **_“_** And I'll use you as a warning sign that if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind ** _._** Oh, and I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, right in front of me. Talk some sense to me. And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, right in front of me. Talk some sense to me.” Jacob thought he’d lost Staci at one point, his heart swelled to hear the declaration as it simultaneously ached at the memory.

_Eli was dust in the wind, the Resistance crumbling slowly without him – at least in the Mountains. All that was left was Rook, who had barely escaped with their life – a mistake that the unit was severely punished for –, the ‘cougars’ and Fall’s End. Jacob had confidence his siblings could handle taking back their territory but nonetheless had planned a few days to visit them without Staci. Radio communication stopped after he reached the Henbane, and by the time he’d returned Jacob was heartbroken to find out Staci had vanished. He’d been ready to send out a search party until he discovered the man had just walked out of the gates, walked away from Jacob._

_Four weeks passed. Jacob had thrown himself into his work, not caring for his own wellbeing or the wellbeing of his people. Staci winced when he saw the amount of bodies piled up for burning. Too many people that hadn’t survived because they’d been left too long or pushed further than any human could take. Fear spiked through Staci’s chest as he made his way to Jacob’s office, not for his own safety but for the state he would find his… but he didn’t have a clear term for what Jacob was anymore. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. There was no answer from the man hunched over the table, so Staci wrapped his arms around the tense body._

_Tender kisses along his neck broke Jacob from his trance, “You came back? Why? I wasn’t coming after you. You could have escaped.”_

_“How can I escape if I’m already free?” Staci hummed, making him turn so they could look at each other. Both men looked worse for wear, beards over grown, bodies dirty and beginning to thin from lack of food. “I thought I wanted to run. Maybe a long time ago I did. But this is where I belong now. With you, my Wolf.”_

_“Peaches…” Jacob kissed him, the first kiss they’d shared that wasn’t initiated by Staci. There was a reason Jacob chose that name for his hostage, the strong, fierce mountain lion he wanted to tame. “You don’t belong to me.”_

_“I do, but you belong to me now too.” Staci took his hand, “Come on. We both need a long shower.”_

“And I'll use you as a makeshift gauge of how much to give and how much to take. Oh I'll use you as a warning sign that if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind. Oh and I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, right in front of me. Well talk some sense to me. And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, right in front of me. Talk some sense to me.” Jacob pulled himself up, going to sit beside Staci on the piano bench for the rest of the performance. He admired the most recent bruises on his lover’s body, formed in passion over the fading scars of past abuse. The first time they’d had sex was terrible. Unplanned, awkward, painful for both of them, but they’d fumbled through and laughed about it later. His mind was drawn to the night before.

_Staci drew patterns into the scarring on Jacob’s chest, both of them still breathing heavily. “If your brother knew what we just did I think he’d kill me on principle,” he laughed, planting kisses across the collar bone above his palm._

_“I don’t know how right Joseph is, but Eden wouldn’t be paradise without you in it,” Jacob wrapped his arms tighter around Staci, looking down. “How long have you been here now?”_

_“I lost track after the first few weeks. It doesn’t really matter to me anymore. I measure time in how many days I have until you go on a hunting trip now,” he leaned up to kiss Jacob. “I’m thinking of getting one of John’s tattoos.”_

_“Why would you do that?” he held Staci’s thigh and pulled so he was laid on top of him._

_“I want the whole world to know that I love you, and that I belong to you. A big wolf to symbolise my soldier,” Staci cupped his cheek, kissing him with a tenderness Jacob had forgotten could exist._

_“You love me,” He gasped when Staci began rocking their hips together. “Fuck, I’m not as young as you… you really love me, Peaches?”_

_“I do. And I bet I can make you feel young again, my Wolf,” a tongue flicked against Jacob’s tragus. The soldier grunted and rolled them so he was pinning Staci beneath him._

Staci had been wrong about one thing. Jacob definitely never used to get laid as much as he did with the ex-deputy in his bed. “Oh, and I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, oh right in front of me. Talk some sense to me. And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, oh right in front of me. Talk some sense to me.”

“You know I love you too, don’t you?” Jacob kissed the hand shaped bruises on Staci’s neck. “Even if I don’t say it.”

“You show it. That’s enough for me,” Staci promised, taking Jacob’s arm and guiding him back to the bed. Jacob hesitated on the way, pulling one of the boards away from the window to let the early morning sunrise bathe the room.

“The last time I heard you play, I thought I’d broken you beyond repair,” he stood at the foot of the bed, appreciating the beauty sprawled in front of him.

“And now?” Staci reached for him. Jacob’s eyes were drawn to the glint of the ring on his left hand, almost identical to the once he wore. Not wedding rings, not yet… but soon.

“Now I’m a changed man,” Jacob crawled over him. “If I hadn’t come to my senses I might have gotten so buried in revenge that I destroyed you. Are you happy here?” He moved so he was laid beside Staci, embracing him. His fingers brushed over Staci’s healing black eye. It was the first time he’d been ashamed of himself for laying a hand on his Peaches.

_Jacob had been getting more and more possessive, starting an argument if Staci so much as shared a smile with another resident of the Veterans Centre and forbidding him from going outside. It had come off the back of some pretty heavy nightmares; so in an attempt to be supportive Staci had allowed the behaviour at first, but now he was getting stir crazy. He filled his canteen with water and headed for the door, sighing when Jacob gripped his wrist. “Where are you going?”_

_“I’m going for a fucking walk Jacob!” In hindsight, Staci shouldn’t have screamed in his face, should have had more control of his irritation. In hindsight, Jacob shouldn’t have thrown the first punch either. His fist collided with Staci’s face twice, once in the jaw and once in the eye, sending him falling against the door._

_“You’re not leaving me! You can’t!” Jacob’s voice was desperate, in need of comfort, but Staci was rightfully angry, so he shoved Jacob back, kicked him hard in the kneecap to send him down and punched him in the chest to wind him. Jacob grabbed him by the throat and sent him to the ground, knocking Staci out cold against the concrete._

_When he came to, Staci heard sobbing in his ear. He opened his eyes to see Jacob wrapped around him like a koala, face buried in his neck as he cried. Rather than immediately confront Jacob this time, Staci thought on what had happened. Things had been tense as Jacob’s PTSD spiralled out of control and he had vowed to help him get through the tough time. They needed to communicate – Staci wanted to get away for a few hours but that didn’t mean Jacob couldn’t watch him. He brought his arms up to cradle his Wolf, letting him cry himself out without forcing more shame._

_Eventually, Jacob was the first to apologise, “I’m sorry. I didn’t- I shouldn’t have hit you. I can’t believe I hurt you so- I panicked. I’m sorry.” He tried to compose himself, to become the soldier again. Staci wanted to step in before he could drift away, but he continued, “But_ God _Peaches, you took me down hard. I’m so proud of you for fighting back like that.”_

_Pride made Staci smile as he wiped Jacob’s tears, “I shouldn’t have tried to leave like that. I should have told you I was going for a walk or invited you along. I forgot you’re keeping yourself prisoner here as much as you are me.”_

_“Prisoner,” Jacob interrupted quickly. “Keeping you… do you want to leave, Peaches? I won’t stop you. You can leave right now and I’ll only blame myself. I won’t hunt you down.”_

_“That’s a lie. You’d let me go but you’d make sure one of your siblings had me. In case Joseph is right. I know you Jacob. You give me freedom but you always make sure we’re near a bunker – just in case.”_

_“You’re right. The thought of you dying… is worse than the memory of what I did in Iraq.” Jacob put his head in his hands, oblivious to the way he made Staci’s chest ache. “I’m a monster. I’m weak.”_

_Swallowing the way Jacob’s confession made him feel, Staci kissed his lover sweetly, “We’re both fucked up, in different ways. But you’re not a monster Jacob, or weak. You’re a soldier, you’re my Wolf. You’re doing your best. What happened today can’t happen again but I forgive you for it regardless. I want you to forgive me too, but I need you to forgive yourself first.” Jacob turned his head to look at his Peaches, three special words on the tip of his tongue, held back by fear of rejection._

_Instead he blurted, “Marry me.”_

“I love you. What does it matter where I am as long as it’s with you?” Staci avoided the question.

“You can leave if you want to. I won’t stop you,” Jacob kissed his temple.

“I am happy with you, Jacob. I can adapt to everything else,” Staci promised. He closed his eyes, the warmth of the sun and his wolf leading him back towards sleep. “Besides, who would keep you in shape if I went away?” Jacob smiled down at him, knowing just how much he’d come to rely on the man in the time they’d had together.

 ** _You’re still his puppet, his pet, his Peaches._** The voice reminded Staci, _and he is mine,_ he reminded the voice. _My soldier, my Wolf… my Jacob._

**Author's Note:**

> [I Found ~ Amber Run](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj6V_a1-EUA)
> 
> [I Found ~ Amber Run [Acoustic]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqoVhwMDoK4)


End file.
